1) Sucking at life

"You suck mate, you fat, you liar, you dick, you ass, you idiot...." Everyone have heard this words thrown at them from time to time. I don't know why I believe them though. 

My academic results is great, I have great friends who know where to draw the line, I have a great family who I can confide in, I have everything a person at my age would want. But I sincerely think I am the worst human being imaginable.

No kidding. Perhaps it's due to my low self esteem, or perhaps the fact that pessimism seems to be taking control over my life, that I constantly think and ponder, "Hey, he is right, I do suck." 

I can't do many things. I can't do housework well, I can't cook, I can't play League for shit, I can't build relationships with anyone well, I failed in the love department more frequently than Stephen Curry shooting threes (That's a lot.) , I can't do anything.

The people I love constantly take damage from me. The things I care for I break apart with my carelessness. The constant compliments I get never come close to comparing to the many failures I know I have and the flaws I can never change.

I got to suck right? How can I fuck up friendships like that, how can I screw up my social life like that, how can I be so bad at everything.

Sometimes, I believe that if I wasn't here, everyone around me would have a better life. 

My mum would live a life where she would not need to provide with her son that much, allowing her to live luxuriously, spending her time and her money on herself than on me.

My friends would get better friends and have a stronger pillar that they can rely on,

My crushes would not be hurt by me and live a better life, without suffering the damage that I did not ever mean to inflict on them.

The world would be a better place.

Sorry world, you are stuck with me instead,

I duly apologize for my sorrowful existence, and I hope that I can improve ever so slightly to not waste the oxygen that I am breathing in.

Maybe tomorrow would have a better me. Probably not.

Introduction

Hi. This is a quick introduction to what this blog is about. I am a Singaporean student, with a background in existential crisis and sadness, and this is merely a front to where I can put out all of my feelings, musings and whatnaught about what I feel on a daily basis.
Quick Notes:
1) This is not a daily post. I don't get eureka moments or things I want to talk about all the time. This is merely an outlet where I let myself be heard to nothing most probably, and let out my thoughts to the wind.
2) If you come here to read, be prepared to not like me. I have opinions, of which I am going to represent in this blog posts a lot. This is not a factual blogger, just mere thoughts of a person who has gone through his short years of his life so far.